iPhone "Gates" Explained!

I love how if it's Apple, the bug is a "feature". Imagine if Samsung was like "Yes my friends, we realize our phones are exploding, but it's a feature! We, at Samsung, like to assume most of our users would like at least a chance to become a member of a highly respected terrorist group like ISIS and as such, Samsung has added a convenient exploding features to our flagship devices to help you on your way. Godbless."

What is it with Apple claiming to have the "best" phone in the world. Isn't that like liking your own post? Didn't they see the specs on other phones?
We are so happy to announce our new product iCharge. With it you can freely charge you phone when ever you like. It is so innovative and beautiful. It is the best charger in the world and with it CIA, FBI and NSA will never know if you are charging your phone or not. This incredible piece of technology you can get for only 499 and if you buy a lightning cable also, it will cost you just 549.